As an executive assistant, your relationship with your executive should be professional, strategic, and mutually supportive. Your goal is to help them succeed, and their goal is to help you succeed. After all, if you succeed, they will.
This episode features an excerpt from my audiobook, The Leader Assistant: Four Pillars of a Confident, Game-Changing Assistant. In this practical and challenging chapter, I cover how to build a winning partnership with your executive by giving up your “hero” mindset, how to say no to your executive, and how to work with a micromanager. I also share 6 questions to ask your executive to help you cultivate a strategic partnership.
I hope you get a lot out of this audiobook snippet! Be sure to download the entire audiobook here. If you’re not an audiobook fan, you can always grab the paperback or eBook versions here.
CONNECT WITH ME (JEREMY BURROWS)
- My LinkedIn
- #1 Amazon Bestselling book – The Leader Assistant: Four Pillars of a Confident, Game-Changing Assistant
- Direct link to the Audiobook
ABOUT ME
I’m a longtime executive assistant, international speaker and trainer, founder of The Leader Assistant Community and Premium Membership, author of the #1 Amazon Bestselling book, The Leader Assistant: Four Pillars of a Confident, Game-Changing Assistant, and host of the #1 podcast for assistants – The Leader Assistant Podcast.
I’ve worked with CEOs, professional athletes, Fortune 100 board members, billionaires, pastors—and their assistants—in both the nonprofit and for-profit sectors.
I’ve also had the opportunity to speak at administrative professional and executive assistant conferences all over the world, including Hong Kong, Thailand, and Germany.
I’m currently EA to the Founder and CEO of Capacity, a fast-growing artificial intelligence SaaS startup with an AI-powered, support automation platform.
My passion is to help you lead well, resist burnout, and automate before you’re automated.
I live in Kansas City, MO with my amazing wife and 2 boys. My hobbies are podcasting, beer, music, crypto, stocks, and entrepreneurship.
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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
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JEREMY: My assistant sees, understands and drives things in a way that I can’t.
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JEREMY: She supports and guides me in a way that leads me to lead better.
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JEREMY: Don H.
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JEREMY: CEO, Colorado Springs, CO.
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JEREMY: Colorado.
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<v SPEAKER_2>The Leader Assistant Podcast exists to encourage and challenge assistants to become confident, game-changing leader assistants.
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JEREMY: You The Leader Assistant Podcast is brought to you by Goody.
00:00:40.436 –> 00:00:45.416
JEREMY: If you’re starting to think about holiday gifts for your team, like I am, Goody is a game changer.
00:00:46.136 –> 00:00:51.656
JEREMY: They have amazing gifts that people will really love, including brands that give back to charitable causes.
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JEREMY: As a longtime executive assistant, I’ve always been nervous about holiday gifting season.
00:00:57.856 –> 00:01:06.136
JEREMY: But thankfully, Goody’s platform lets you send one gift or hundreds at the same time without ever worrying about shipping details.
00:01:06.676 –> 00:01:07.576
JEREMY: Can I get an amen?
00:01:08.436 –> 00:01:16.516
JEREMY: With Goody, your gift recipients provide all their shipping info and they can even swap out your gift for another option if they prefer.
00:01:17.256 –> 00:01:21.416
JEREMY: It’s free to start gifting and you can get a $20 credit when you sign up.
00:01:22.036 –> 00:01:29.516
JEREMY: Oh, and if you mentioned you heard about Goody from The Leader Assistant Podcast, Goody will add an extra $10 credit to your account.
00:01:30.216 –> 00:01:34.596
JEREMY: Go to leaderassistant.com/goody to start gifting today.
00:01:35.656 –> 00:01:41.296
JEREMY: Hey friends, welcome to episode 184 of The Leader Assistant Podcast.
00:01:41.316 –> 00:01:51.816
JEREMY: It’s your host Jeremy Burrows and today I’m excited to be sharing an excerpt from my audio book, The Leader Assistant, Four Pillars of a Confident, Game-Changing Assistant.
00:01:52.616 –> 00:01:59.176
JEREMY: And this excerpt is from chapter 21, which is called Your Executive.
00:01:59.936 –> 00:02:09.016
JEREMY: And in this practical and challenging chapter, I cover how to build a winning partnership with your executive by giving up your hero mindset.
00:02:09.976 –> 00:02:20.536
JEREMY: I talk about how to say no to your executive, how to work with a micromanager, and I also share six questions to ask your executive to help you cultivate your strategic partnership.
00:02:21.036 –> 00:02:24.076
JEREMY: I hope you enjoy this clip from my audio book.
00:02:24.156 –> 00:02:30.836
JEREMY: Be sure to download the entire audio book at audio.leaderassistant.com.
00:02:31.456 –> 00:02:42.396
JEREMY: And if you prefer paperback or e-books, be sure to check out The Leader Assistant on Amazon at amazon.leaderassistant.com.
00:02:43.876 –> 00:02:46.576
JEREMY: Chapter 21, Your Executive.
00:02:48.656 –> 00:03:04.116
JEREMY: Once you have a strong support network of assistants who have your back and call you on your BS, BS equals bull spit if you’re curious, you’ll be empowered to engage in the next key relationship, your relationship with your executive.
00:03:05.156 –> 00:03:13.176
JEREMY: To clarify, when I say engage, I don’t mean you storm into your executive’s office to shout orders and blame them for your high blood pressure, even if it’s true.
00:03:14.296 –> 00:03:19.156
JEREMY: I also don’t mean you avoid eye contact or walk into your one-on-one with your head down.
00:03:19.916 –> 00:03:26.276
JEREMY: Instead, confidently have conversations with your executive that lead to game-changing results for you both.
00:03:27.616 –> 00:03:33.236
JEREMY: Your relationship with your executive should be professional, strategic and mutually supportive.
00:03:34.196 –> 00:03:38.576
JEREMY: Your goal is to help them succeed and their goal is to help you succeed.
00:03:39.916 –> 00:03:46.876
JEREMY: The following lessons I’ve learned over the years will help you build a winning partnership as you engage in your relationship with your executive.
00:03:48.256 –> 00:03:49.756
JEREMY: Don’t be a hero.
00:03:51.416 –> 00:03:54.076
JEREMY: You save the day for your executive all the time.
00:03:54.776 –> 00:03:58.416
JEREMY: You bend over backwards behind the scenes to help them succeed.
00:03:59.776 –> 00:04:04.176
JEREMY: One could argue you’re a hero to your executive, and in many ways you are.
00:04:05.576 –> 00:04:09.796
JEREMY: But should you see yourself primarily as the hero in your executive’s story?
00:04:10.956 –> 00:04:15.596
JEREMY: Donald Miller is an author and CEO of a marketing business called Storybrand.
00:04:16.876 –> 00:04:25.636
JEREMY: His company uses an age-old framework to help businesses not see themselves as the hero coming to save the day for their customers.
00:04:26.596 –> 00:04:32.836
JEREMY: Instead, he urges businesses to invite their customers into a story where the customer is always the hero.
00:04:34.156 –> 00:04:37.196
JEREMY: Miller likes to use Star Wars as an example.
00:04:38.496 –> 00:04:43.076
JEREMY: Luke Skywalker is the hero who saves the day by destroying the Death Star.
00:04:44.056 –> 00:04:48.496
JEREMY: Yoda is one of the few key guides who help Luke along his hero’s journey.
00:04:49.436 –> 00:04:58.536
JEREMY: In the story brand framework, a business is Yoda, the guide to help the hero customer, Luke, conquer the glaciers along their journey.
00:04:59.656 –> 00:05:04.356
JEREMY: I love this framework because it takes the customer’s focus off of how awesome a business is.
00:05:05.316 –> 00:05:11.796
JEREMY: Instead, it shifts the customer’s attention to how that business can help the customer win the battle they’re fighting.
00:05:13.256 –> 00:05:16.636
JEREMY: A business should strive to be Yoda, not Luke.
00:05:18.056 –> 00:05:22.636
JEREMY: The same goes for you if you want to be a game-changing leader assistant.
00:05:24.056 –> 00:05:26.916
JEREMY: You are the guide in your executive’s journey.
00:05:27.776 –> 00:05:32.336
JEREMY: After all, if they succeed in conquering the evil empire, you win too.
00:05:33.836 –> 00:05:38.156
JEREMY: Let’s look at your resume as an example of how this framework plays out practically.
00:05:39.596 –> 00:05:46.056
JEREMY: If you see yourself as the hero, your resume might lead with, I’ve been an assistant for 23 years.
00:05:47.196 –> 00:05:54.316
JEREMY: If you see yourself as the guide, however, your resume might lead with, I help you save time, period.
00:05:55.256 –> 00:05:56.156
JEREMY: Notice the difference?
00:05:57.396 –> 00:05:58.216
JEREMY: Don’t get me wrong.
00:05:58.796 –> 00:06:03.956
JEREMY: I’m all about you being confident and proud of your experience and what you’ve accomplished throughout your career.
00:06:04.716 –> 00:06:06.476
JEREMY: You can even wear a red cape if you’d like.
00:06:07.536 –> 00:06:13.416
JEREMY: But your executive doesn’t care about your credentials unless those credentials show what you can do for them.
00:06:14.396 –> 00:06:21.056
JEREMY: Think of yourself as Yoda, the guide who helps the hero, your executive and company, win.
00:06:21.976 –> 00:06:23.116
JEREMY: You’re not the hero.
00:06:24.616 –> 00:06:31.576
JEREMY: Communicating with Your Executive As I typed this, my boys are playing with Lego in the next room.
00:06:32.436 –> 00:06:37.056
JEREMY: At the moment, they’re playing very well together, and it’s one of the sweetest sounds I’ve ever heard.
00:06:38.076 –> 00:06:46.596
JEREMY: As soon as I was done typing the above sentence, Weston came in with his fidget spinner UFO and tiny alien and walked it all over my desk.
00:06:47.276 –> 00:06:54.116
JEREMY: It was very sweet until I realized his hand, the one that just took a tour of my mouse and keyboard, was covered in snot.
00:06:55.076 –> 00:06:56.336
JEREMY: Ah, the joys of parenting.
00:06:58.016 –> 00:07:01.256
JEREMY: If I’m lucky, my boys will get through this play session without incident.
00:07:02.836 –> 00:07:12.676
JEREMY: But these precious moments of play often halt abruptly with a dead, Silas won’t let me have the blue Lego, or dead, Weston took my red Lego.
00:07:13.956 –> 00:07:18.656
JEREMY: In these moments of communication breakdown, I tend to ask the following question.
00:07:19.796 –> 00:07:22.196
JEREMY: Did you nicely ask your brother for what you want?
00:07:23.356 –> 00:07:25.776
JEREMY: Nine times out of ten they answer, well, no.
00:07:27.456 –> 00:07:29.816
JEREMY: In other words, my boys often fail to communicate.
00:07:31.096 –> 00:07:42.776
JEREMY: The more I coach assistants through their own communication issues, the more I’m convinced that, just as with my Lego-loving boys, open dialogue is the key to a productive working relationship.
00:07:44.256 –> 00:07:52.136
JEREMY: The other day I was on a coaching call with an assistant who said she wanted to be a leader and take more initiative with her executive but didn’t know where to start.
00:07:53.256 –> 00:07:56.196
JEREMY: I asked her how often she and her executive meet together.
00:07:57.436 –> 00:07:59.756
JEREMY: She said they rarely, if ever, get time to meet.
00:08:01.296 –> 00:08:06.136
JEREMY: Another assistant told me she meets regularly with her executive but has a similar problem.
00:08:06.836 –> 00:08:10.836
JEREMY: She doesn’t know how to level up and make more impact with her executive.
00:08:12.476 –> 00:08:19.396
JEREMY: Her issue isn’t a lack of face-to-face meetings, but a lack of intentional structure and conversations in those meetings.
00:08:21.236 –> 00:08:23.576
JEREMY: Questions aren’t a sign of weakness.
00:08:25.416 –> 00:08:28.056
JEREMY: How can you improve communication with your executive?
00:08:29.236 –> 00:08:37.196
JEREMY: You can start by regularly asking your executive questions to understand the why behind what they do and to ensure you’re on the same page.
00:08:38.916 –> 00:08:46.856
JEREMY: Ask a lot of clarifying questions if you want to anticipate and read your executive’s mind to improve productivity and efficiency.
00:08:48.616 –> 00:08:50.516
JEREMY: Questions aren’t a sign of weakness.
00:08:51.236 –> 00:08:52.656
JEREMY: They’re a sign of leadership.
00:08:53.736 –> 00:09:04.436
JEREMY: Think about a few of the best conversations you’ve ever had, or the most interesting podcast interviews you’ve listened to, or the best counseling or therapy session you were a part of.
00:09:06.136 –> 00:09:08.316
JEREMY: What was the common thread in all of these?
00:09:09.696 –> 00:09:11.916
JEREMY: They were full of good questions.
00:09:13.296 –> 00:09:18.036
JEREMY: If you’re just starting off with a new executive, ask more questions than you might be comfortable with.
00:09:19.096 –> 00:09:26.516
JEREMY: If you’ve been with the same executive for several years, you won’t need to ask as many questions, but never stop asking.
00:09:27.556 –> 00:09:31.876
JEREMY: You’re not perfect, and you’re not your executive, so don’t be afraid to ask.
00:09:33.376 –> 00:09:39.316
JEREMY: As I mentioned earlier in the book, I was the de facto accountant for our startup during its first year of existence.
00:09:40.316 –> 00:09:46.096
JEREMY: I supervised a large budget in my previous role at a nonprofit, but I’d never worked for a for-profit before.
00:09:47.016 –> 00:09:53.456
JEREMY: I knew nothing about how our CEO wanted the numbers crunched, so I annoyed him with countless clarifying questions.
00:09:54.456 –> 00:10:04.616
JEREMY: In the long run, my questioning made things easier on our eventual accounting manager and CFO because I had things at least partially set up the way our CEO wanted it from the beginning.
00:10:05.376 –> 00:10:11.576
JEREMY: In fact, we were audited by the IRS for that year I managed the books, and we passed with flying colors.
00:10:12.516 –> 00:10:15.296
JEREMY: I’m glad I asked lots of questions.
00:10:17.216 –> 00:10:21.396
JEREMY: Does your executive encourage your questioning or express frustration when you speak up?
00:10:22.356 –> 00:10:29.256
JEREMY: If it’s uncomfortable for you to speak openly and ask questions of your executive, be honest with yourself about why.
00:10:30.176 –> 00:10:32.536
JEREMY: Is it because you’re intimidated by your executive?
00:10:33.296 –> 00:10:34.056
JEREMY: If so, why?
00:10:35.016 –> 00:10:36.656
JEREMY: Did something happen between you two?
00:10:37.576 –> 00:10:41.836
JEREMY: Did you have a previous executive who would verbally abuse you if you dared ask a question?
00:10:42.856 –> 00:10:45.576
JEREMY: Are you silent because you simply don’t know what to ask?
00:10:47.056 –> 00:10:56.136
JEREMY: Questions to Ask Your Executive Let’s go over some specific questions you can ask your executive to help you be proactive and anticipate their needs.
00:10:57.096 –> 00:11:02.636
JEREMY: You probably don’t want to ask all of these in one sitting, so spread them out across a few one-on-one meetings.
00:11:03.656 –> 00:11:10.476
JEREMY: Also, arrive prepared with a suggested answer to each question in case your executive is stumped.
00:11:11.796 –> 00:11:17.256
JEREMY: Finally, be sure to take notes, make an action plan, then revisit that plan in a few weeks.
00:11:18.876 –> 00:11:22.476
JEREMY: What’s one thing I could do to make your job less stressful this week?
00:11:23.916 –> 00:11:28.336
JEREMY: Your job is to make your executive’s job easier, so cut to the chase.
00:11:29.196 –> 00:11:32.636
JEREMY: Ask this question and be ready to propose an answer.
00:11:33.696 –> 00:11:44.056
JEREMY: It could be as simple as grabbing lunch for them when they don’t have time to grab it themselves, or as complicated as formatting a 59-page PowerPoint presentation for the upcoming board meeting.
00:11:45.936 –> 00:11:48.596
JEREMY: Don’t ask if you’re not willing to get your hands dirty.
00:11:50.856 –> 00:11:52.696
JEREMY: In what ways do I frustrate you?
00:11:53.936 –> 00:11:55.456
JEREMY: How would you recommend I change?
00:11:56.396 –> 00:12:00.836
JEREMY: This question gets the most cringes when I share it during my training or speaking engagements.
00:12:01.856 –> 00:12:06.136
JEREMY: It’s certainly a humbling question to ask and puts you in a vulnerable position.
00:12:06.556 –> 00:12:11.356
JEREMY: But if your executive is frustrated about something you are or aren’t doing, you want to know.
00:12:12.636 –> 00:12:15.776
JEREMY: In your next one-on-one, frame this question casually.
00:12:16.436 –> 00:12:25.916
JEREMY: You could say, I’ve been working on my professional development in general, but one of the things I’m curious about is if there’s something about the way I work that frustrates you.
00:12:27.176 –> 00:12:30.816
JEREMY: If so, I’d like to consider ways I can improve and be more helpful to you.
00:12:32.096 –> 00:12:39.496
JEREMY: When I asked one of my executives this question, he said he wished I didn’t ping him about minor details throughout the day.
00:12:40.416 –> 00:12:46.756
JEREMY: Instead, he suggested we go over small details once or twice a week to limit distractions.
00:12:48.396 –> 00:12:52.136
JEREMY: It was hard to hear at the time, but it was an invaluable tip.
00:12:53.636 –> 00:12:57.276
JEREMY: I’ve now used this tactic for years, and every executive loves it.
00:12:58.436 –> 00:12:59.296
JEREMY: What’s my strength?
00:13:00.456 –> 00:13:02.676
JEREMY: Do you believe this strength is being utilized?
00:13:03.476 –> 00:13:07.256
JEREMY: If not, what changes could we make to get more out of me in this area?
00:13:08.676 –> 00:13:15.236
JEREMY: You might be really good at writing communications to the entire company, but does your executive give you the opportunity to do so?
00:13:16.436 –> 00:13:19.276
JEREMY: Or are they asking you to run pointless errands all the time?
00:13:20.756 –> 00:13:24.256
JEREMY: Ask them this question so you can begin to work more from your strengths.
00:13:25.096 –> 00:13:30.336
JEREMY: Again, you’ll want to be ready to answer these questions to show you’re self-aware and ready for action.
00:13:36.416 –> 00:13:38.742
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00:13:39.662 –> 00:13:47.342
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00:13:47.982 –> 00:13:59.482
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00:14:00.162 –> 00:14:02.582
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00:14:03.142 –> 00:14:08.202
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00:14:13.242 –> 00:14:17.142
JEREMY: Is there a task or project you’re working on that I could take care of?
00:14:18.702 –> 00:14:23.602
JEREMY: Don’t let your executive micromanage or work on tasks that aren’t in their job description.
00:14:24.462 –> 00:14:28.742
JEREMY: You might already have a list of tasks you can take off their plate, so have this list with you.
00:14:30.622 –> 00:14:36.602
JEREMY: Could we rearrange our calendars to make things easier, more enjoyable, and more productive for you?
00:14:38.062 –> 00:14:40.542
JEREMY: The answer to this question should always be yes.
00:14:41.922 –> 00:14:45.162
JEREMY: Be aware of the meetings your executive should or should not be attending.
00:14:45.862 –> 00:14:51.102
JEREMY: Make it a priority to sit down with them and do an audit of their calendar, like I discuss in Chapter 10.
00:14:52.602 –> 00:14:55.022
JEREMY: How can I help you prioritize your to-do list?
00:14:56.302 –> 00:15:01.442
JEREMY: Many executives know what they need to do, but they get overwhelmed and don’t know where to begin.
00:15:02.442 –> 00:15:05.902
JEREMY: You can help them break their to-do list into bite-sized tasks.
00:15:06.982 –> 00:15:11.302
JEREMY: You can then work with them to prioritize the list so they don’t miss anything important.
00:15:12.722 –> 00:15:13.982
JEREMY: Learn to lead.
00:15:15.122 –> 00:15:18.002
JEREMY: I realize asking these questions can be intimidating.
00:15:18.862 –> 00:15:23.482
JEREMY: It takes courage and maturity to be vulnerable, especially if your executive is resistant.
00:15:24.702 –> 00:15:25.942
JEREMY: But I’ve never regretted asking.
00:15:27.522 –> 00:15:29.982
JEREMY: I always take something away that helps me lead better.
00:15:31.022 –> 00:15:36.342
JEREMY: In fact, these questions often spark some of the best strategic business conversations we’ve had.
00:15:37.222 –> 00:15:43.022
JEREMY: You know, the types of conversations entrepreneurs and MBA students would pay a lot of money to be a part of.
00:15:45.042 –> 00:15:46.582
JEREMY: Say no to your executive.
00:15:48.542 –> 00:15:55.562
JEREMY: I discussed saying no in Chapter 9, but I want to talk about this tactic specifically as it relates to your relationship with your executive.
00:15:57.302 –> 00:16:01.702
JEREMY: As a leader assistant, be willing to say no to your executive.
00:16:03.362 –> 00:16:10.782
JEREMY: There are times when your executive will ask you to do something, but you know it will take your focus off of higher priority tasks.
00:16:11.902 –> 00:16:15.362
JEREMY: Instead of just adding it to your to-do list, consider pushing back.
00:16:16.542 –> 00:16:22.262
JEREMY: Ask your executive if that task can be offloaded to another team member or disregarded completely.
00:16:23.542 –> 00:16:26.822
JEREMY: When an executive says they want something done, they usually mean it.
00:16:27.422 –> 00:16:32.682
JEREMY: But I found that if you remind them of the big picture, they’ll rethink whether a task is necessary.
00:16:34.022 –> 00:16:39.122
JEREMY: When my previous executive was fired, he and I sat down and debriefed what happened.
00:16:40.222 –> 00:16:47.082
JEREMY: We talked about several times I told him no or strongly advised him against a decision, yet he didn’t listen.
00:16:48.322 –> 00:16:51.202
JEREMY: He regretfully admitted he should have listened to me more.
00:16:52.602 –> 00:16:57.762
JEREMY: I often wonder, if I would have been more firm, would things have turned out differently for him?
00:16:59.202 –> 00:17:05.962
JEREMY: I don’t blame myself for his failures, but I did learn that sometimes it’s okay to be more assertive when saying no to an executive.
00:17:07.662 –> 00:17:12.442
JEREMY: Working with a Micro-Manager I have a confession to make.
00:17:13.442 –> 00:17:14.542
JEREMY: I’m a control freak.
00:17:16.162 –> 00:17:17.622
JEREMY: I like things done the right way.
00:17:18.402 –> 00:17:20.462
JEREMY: Of course, when I say the right way, I mean my way.
00:17:21.482 –> 00:17:27.522
JEREMY: If someone does something well but not exactly the way I like it done, I’ll do everything in my power to correct it.
00:17:28.662 –> 00:17:31.382
JEREMY: I’m sure Meg would be happy to tell you more about my condition.
00:17:32.682 –> 00:17:41.062
JEREMY: I’m not proud to be an experienced and gifted Micro-Manager, but there are times when it seems Micro-Managing is the only way to get anything done.
00:17:42.202 –> 00:17:46.822
JEREMY: At one of our offsite strategic leadership meetings, I ordered lunch for the entire group.
00:17:47.602 –> 00:17:54.382
JEREMY: There was a restaurant on the other end of the block, so I figured it would be a safe option for getting food for 16 people in a timely manner.
00:17:55.442 –> 00:17:59.702
JEREMY: I debated picking up the order myself, but I didn’t want to miss any of the discussion.
00:18:00.582 –> 00:18:04.562
JEREMY: I also thought to myself, Jeremy, you don’t have to do everything.
00:18:05.382 –> 00:18:06.482
JEREMY: Just have them deliver it.
00:18:07.562 –> 00:18:09.762
JEREMY: You can probably guess where the story is headed.
00:18:10.862 –> 00:18:14.942
JEREMY: The delivery driver picked up our order and someone else’s at the same time.
00:18:15.562 –> 00:18:20.862
JEREMY: Instead of looking to see how close we were, he decided to deliver our order second.
00:18:22.262 –> 00:18:26.862
JEREMY: As it turned out, the order he chose to deliver first was 20 minutes away.
00:18:28.502 –> 00:18:32.962
JEREMY: Our food failed to arrive on time, so I called the restaurant to ask where it was.
00:18:34.202 –> 00:18:40.462
JEREMY: They said the driver was on his way, so all I could do was pace back and forth as a room full of hungry team members waited for me.
00:18:41.662 –> 00:18:44.722
JEREMY: I kept thinking I should have picked up the food myself.
00:18:45.542 –> 00:18:48.562
JEREMY: If I would have micromanaged, the team would have gotten their lunch on time.
00:18:49.922 –> 00:18:52.802
JEREMY: When lunch finally did arrive, it was an hour late.
00:18:54.442 –> 00:18:58.182
JEREMY: As an assistant, you experience moments like this all the time.
00:18:59.342 –> 00:19:04.122
JEREMY: But do you know who else deals with inefficient and incompetent people on a regular basis?
00:19:05.322 –> 00:19:06.142
JEREMY: Your executive.
00:19:07.242 –> 00:19:12.282
JEREMY: So the next time your executive breathes down your neck about something, try putting yourself in their shoes.
00:19:13.862 –> 00:19:18.642
JEREMY: Maybe they’ve been at the mercy of a team that doesn’t finish the graphics in time for their presentation.
00:19:19.462 –> 00:19:25.722
JEREMY: Or they’ve missed a deadline because the communications team created a video that totally missed the vision they were trying to convey.
00:19:27.162 –> 00:19:32.282
JEREMY: In other words, your executive knows what it’s like to think, I should have taken care of it myself.
00:19:33.482 –> 00:19:35.722
JEREMY: They know how difficult it is to trust others.
00:19:38.122 –> 00:19:41.142
JEREMY: Have you thought about what motivates your executive to micromanage?
00:19:42.942 –> 00:19:51.122
JEREMY: The best way to encourage your executive to be less controlling and more trusting is to recognize and help them see why they micromanage.
00:19:52.382 –> 00:19:55.902
JEREMY: From there, you can lead your executive out of their controlling ways.
00:19:57.642 –> 00:20:01.902
JEREMY: Here are three common motivations behind our tendency to micromanage.
00:20:03.242 –> 00:20:07.362
JEREMY: Make a note of which ones are more likely to cause your executive to be controlling.
00:20:08.642 –> 00:20:13.642
JEREMY: These motivations will also give you language to use when bringing this topic up with your executive.
00:20:15.242 –> 00:20:15.462
JEREMY: 1.
00:20:15.982 –> 00:20:16.542
JEREMY: Control.
00:20:17.862 –> 00:20:23.262
JEREMY: Your executive might micromanage because they feel like they’re losing control of some aspect of their life.
00:20:24.342 –> 00:20:25.642
JEREMY: It could be unrelated to you.
00:20:26.642 –> 00:20:31.802
JEREMY: Maybe it’s a board member, a department lead, or even a rebellious teenager at home.
00:20:32.702 –> 00:20:35.862
JEREMY: Are they grasping for what they can control out of desperation?
00:20:37.422 –> 00:20:44.022
JEREMY: Be aware of the entire context of the situation, especially if your executive is a seasonal micromanager.
00:20:45.862 –> 00:20:46.202
JEREMY: 2.
00:20:46.482 –> 00:20:47.822
JEREMY: Completing a task.
00:20:48.862 –> 00:20:53.982
JEREMY: Your executive works on initiatives or projects that take months, maybe even years, to complete.
00:20:55.082 –> 00:21:00.442
JEREMY: Because there’s so much time between completing these projects, they can feel unproductive for months.
00:21:01.402 –> 00:21:09.582
JEREMY: To combat this lack of momentum, they might want to build a quick slide deck, schedule a meeting, or see another quick task to completion.
00:21:10.742 –> 00:21:19.382
JEREMY: Several times throughout the process of writing this book, I’ve found myself taking a break to reply to an email or post a quick thought on social media.
00:21:20.102 –> 00:21:23.242
JEREMY: You know, things I can check off a list in a few minutes to feel accomplished.
00:21:25.442 –> 00:21:28.902
JEREMY: This is why many executives struggle to delegate simple tasks.
00:21:30.182 –> 00:21:31.922
JEREMY: And even when they do, they micromanage.
00:21:32.882 –> 00:21:35.602
JEREMY: They don’t want to miss the thrill of seeing something get done.
00:21:36.482 –> 00:21:37.762
JEREMY: They want to feel productive.
00:21:38.822 –> 00:21:41.542
JEREMY: Is this your executives’ motivation for micromanaging?
00:21:42.642 –> 00:21:49.062
JEREMY: If so, help your executive break their long-term projects into parts they can measure on a short-term basis.
00:21:50.502 –> 00:21:55.602
JEREMY: In other words, if they see progress along the way, perhaps they won’t feel so unproductive.
00:21:57.322 –> 00:21:57.682
JEREMY: 3.
00:21:58.422 –> 00:22:05.022
JEREMY: Excellence There are times when I want things to be done with excellence, and I do my best to help others succeed.
00:22:06.562 –> 00:22:09.702
JEREMY: In these situations, my goal is to equip and empower.
00:22:10.722 –> 00:22:16.102
JEREMY: However, if I don’t trust the other person to do a good job, I hurt the situation, not help it.
00:22:17.002 –> 00:22:21.422
JEREMY: My micromanaging takes away any space for that person to figure it out on their own.
00:22:22.602 –> 00:22:25.142
JEREMY: In other words, I’m not setting them up to succeed.
00:22:25.882 –> 00:22:28.062
JEREMY: I’m not empowering them toward excellence.
00:22:29.142 –> 00:22:30.602
JEREMY: I’m not delegating well.
00:22:31.522 –> 00:22:34.382
JEREMY: I’m simply doing everything for them while they watch.
00:22:35.982 –> 00:22:38.362
JEREMY: Is excellence your executive’s motivation?
00:22:39.282 –> 00:22:41.402
JEREMY: Think about the last time they micromanaged you.
00:22:42.222 –> 00:22:44.242
JEREMY: Was it necessary for them to be so involved?
00:22:45.282 –> 00:22:47.202
JEREMY: Or was it simply a personal preference?
00:22:48.162 –> 00:22:51.262
JEREMY: Was their motivation truly excellence and productivity?
00:22:51.762 –> 00:22:53.542
JEREMY: Or did they just want to maintain control?
00:22:54.682 –> 00:22:58.882
JEREMY: Can you gently show them your track record of excellence to ease their fears?
00:23:00.642 –> 00:23:05.662
JEREMY: Delegate Results Never tell people how to do things.
00:23:06.362 –> 00:23:09.322
JEREMY: Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.
00:23:10.262 –> 00:23:21.402
JEREMY: Former Army General George Patton Now that you have an idea of what’s behind your executive’s desire to micromanage, you can help them learn to delegate results, not just tasks.
00:23:22.402 –> 00:23:28.042
JEREMY: In short, your executive should explain the why and let you figure out the what and how.
00:23:29.782 –> 00:23:33.422
JEREMY: If you need help along the way, your executive can make themselves available.
00:23:35.262 –> 00:23:48.222
JEREMY: As a footnote, I first heard about the concept of delegating results versus tasks from Brian Miles, co-founder and former CEO of Belay Solutions, the largest virtual assistant firm in the US.
00:23:49.562 –> 00:23:52.082
JEREMY: Here’s an example of delegating a task.
00:23:53.222 –> 00:24:01.502
JEREMY: Your executive asks you to schedule a meeting with all 11 board members over a nice dinner at an offsite location before the end of the year.
00:24:02.562 –> 00:24:07.222
JEREMY: The next day, your executive texts each board member to ask what day works for the meeting.
00:24:07.982 –> 00:24:10.342
JEREMY: Then they call a couple of restaurants to reserve a room.
00:24:11.402 –> 00:24:17.462
JEREMY: A couple of days later, your executive calls you to tell you a few date options and mentions they found a great restaurant.
00:24:18.222 –> 00:24:20.622
JEREMY: You let them know you already booked a different restaurant.
00:24:21.382 –> 00:24:24.362
JEREMY: They tell you to call so-and-so to get a third option just in case.
00:24:25.482 –> 00:24:30.002
JEREMY: Later that day, your executive texts the board again to ask where they’d like to have the meeting.
00:24:30.942 –> 00:24:38.182
JEREMY: After gathering a few responses, they ask you to visit each restaurant to get a feel for what the best option would be.
00:24:39.482 –> 00:24:45.182
JEREMY: The next day, your executive decides to visit a couple of the restaurants, then books a room at one of them.
00:24:46.042 –> 00:24:51.902
JEREMY: When they call you later, you inform them you’ve already visited all three and booked a room at one of the other options.
00:24:52.842 –> 00:25:01.982
JEREMY: This whole time you’re thinking to yourself, great, I just wasted my time on all this while you did the work, and you wasted your time on it even though you have bigger fish to fry.
00:25:03.642 –> 00:25:06.242
JEREMY: Here’s an example of delegating results.
00:25:07.662 –> 00:25:15.922
JEREMY: Your executive asks you to schedule a meeting with all 11 board members over a nice dinner at an offsite location before the end of the year.
00:25:17.062 –> 00:25:21.922
JEREMY: Your executive tells you to let them know if you have any questions or run into any issues along the way.
00:25:22.582 –> 00:25:27.862
JEREMY: They go back to working on the agenda for the meeting and other key projects as they await your updates.
00:25:29.002 –> 00:25:31.322
JEREMY: You book the restaurant and all is well.
00:25:32.582 –> 00:25:34.022
JEREMY: Trust and lead.
00:25:35.482 –> 00:25:36.402
JEREMY: Notice the difference?
00:25:37.642 –> 00:25:45.022
JEREMY: Your executive can stop micromanaging and start leading well by delegating results no matter what their motivations are.
00:25:46.382 –> 00:25:53.242
JEREMY: Your job is to help them overcome the poor leadership practice of micromanaging and learn to delegate results.
00:25:54.802 –> 00:26:02.782
JEREMY: Lead your executive by giving them specific examples of times they’ve delegated tasks when they could have delegated results.
00:26:03.782 –> 00:26:08.222
JEREMY: Walk them through your examples and show them how delegating results would have looked.
00:26:09.482 –> 00:26:13.002
JEREMY: Ask them if they’d be willing to try it differently for the next project.
00:26:14.762 –> 00:26:24.282
JEREMY: Working with a Resistant Executive If your executive is resistant to you engaging them, consider the following alternative ways to approach them.
00:26:25.522 –> 00:26:28.542
JEREMY: First, your executive might not like being put on the spot.
00:26:29.482 –> 00:26:33.442
JEREMY: Instead of asking questions, you could present proposals and suggestions.
00:26:34.722 –> 00:26:39.502
JEREMY: For example, don’t ask, How can I help you prioritize your to-do list?
00:26:40.242 –> 00:26:44.182
JEREMY: Instead say, Here is your prioritized to-do list for the week.
00:26:44.622 –> 00:26:45.542
JEREMY: Did I miss anything?
00:26:46.662 –> 00:26:49.402
JEREMY: Sometimes you don’t need to ask your executive how to help.
00:26:50.202 –> 00:26:52.662
JEREMY: Instead, show them how you’ve already helped.
00:26:54.262 –> 00:26:58.602
JEREMY: Another way to work with a resistant executive is to have an open conversation with them.
00:26:59.622 –> 00:27:02.722
JEREMY: Of course, how you frame the conversation is critical.
00:27:04.182 –> 00:27:09.022
JEREMY: Make the conversation about helping them, not about how you wish they weren’t so difficult.
00:27:10.042 –> 00:27:14.522
JEREMY: Let them know you want to take on more responsibility so they have more capacity to succeed.
00:27:15.702 –> 00:27:22.922
JEREMY: If you’ve attempted this conversation with no luck, consider asking an HR representative to attend the meeting as a mediator.
00:27:24.082 –> 00:27:27.922
JEREMY: Initiating a meeting like this can lead to a few worst-case scenarios.
00:27:28.582 –> 00:27:34.142
JEREMY: Your executive could be a defensive jerk, verbally abuse you, or even fire you for being nosy.
00:27:35.402 –> 00:27:41.282
JEREMY: As tough as these scenarios would be, the quicker you can move on from a toxic environment, the better.
00:27:43.242 –> 00:27:49.402
JEREMY: If you’ve tried different ways to engage in your relationship with your executive, but they won’t respond, it’s time to move on.
00:27:50.522 –> 00:27:57.062
JEREMY: I know it’s easier said than done, but confident, game-changing leader assistants don’t put up with abusive relationships.
00:27:59.602 –> 00:28:06.062
JEREMY: Before you defend your executive and claim they aren’t abusive, remember that avoidance is a form of abuse.
00:28:07.162 –> 00:28:14.502
JEREMY: Maybe your executive isn’t actively abusive or disrespectful, but they are lazy and lack leadership skills.
00:28:15.622 –> 00:28:24.722
JEREMY: Your life is too short and your career is too important to work for an executive who fails to challenge you, draw the best out of you, and support you.
00:28:26.722 –> 00:28:34.862
JEREMY: Supporting Multiple Executives If you have more than one executive, you can apply the above tactics and questions to each executive.
00:28:35.962 –> 00:28:42.802
JEREMY: The key is to know their unique communication styles as discussed in Chapter 18, and adapt accordingly.
00:28:44.282 –> 00:28:50.082
JEREMY: If you have a few executives and one of them is difficult, but the others are great, talk to the difficult one.
00:28:50.602 –> 00:28:55.782
JEREMY: Give them examples of systems and methods you and the other executives have found to be helpful.
00:28:57.102 –> 00:29:01.302
JEREMY: Show them data to quantify the success you’ve had with the other executives.
00:29:03.322 –> 00:29:06.662
JEREMY: Do you want to cultivate an unstoppable strategic partnership?
00:29:08.362 –> 00:29:18.362
JEREMY: Engage in thoughtful conversations, learn to say no, ask questions, and lead your executive out of their micromanaging ways.
00:29:19.602 –> 00:29:22.302
JEREMY: I hope you enjoyed this clip from my audiobook.
00:29:22.702 –> 00:29:27.562
JEREMY: Be sure to download the entire book at audio.leaderassistant.com.
00:29:27.722 –> 00:29:34.922
JEREMY: You can sign in to your Audible account, or you can buy it directly from Amazon at amazon.leaderassistant.com.
00:29:36.602 –> 00:29:38.822
JEREMY: Until next time, have a great day.
00:29:49.266 –> 00:29:51.786
<v SPEAKER_2>Please review on Apple Podcasts.
