Annie Croner is the founder and CEO of Whole Assistant, an online platform & community, formed to provide a positive place where assistants can go to transform their lives and level up their careers.
In this spotlight episode of Annie’s show, The Whole Assistant Podcast, she talks about becoming the calm in the storm.
CONNECT WITH ANNIE
- Annie on LinkedIn
- Whole Assistant Website
- The Whole Assistant Podcast
- Email: annie@wholeassistant.com
- Whole Assistant Instagram
ABOUT ANNIE
Annie Croner is an executive assistant coach, trainer, and strategic thinker. She loves to help her clients unlock their badassery, and revolutionize their careers.
Over her 20 year career as an executive assistant, Annie worked for boutique companies across multiple industries including accounting, marketing, nonprofit, and private wealth management. Working in a variety of settings has led to a diverse understanding of the assistant role and the many challenges that often come with it.
Annie is passionate about helping those in support roles show up more strategically and garner the respect of their executives, colleagues, and key stakeholders without sacrificing their mental health and well-being.
Annie lives in Denver, Colorado where she enjoys green smoothies, her family, and an occasional evening of Latin dancing. To learn more about Annie, please visit WholeAssistant.com.
–––
THE LEADER ASSISTANT PREMIUM MEMBERSHIP
To learn more about how you can join growth-minded Leader Assistants, check out our Leader Assistant Premium Membership for ongoing training, coaching, and community.
THE LEADER ASSISTANT BOOK
Download the first 3 chapters of The Leader Assistant: Four Pillars of Game-Changing Assistant for FREE here or buy it on Amazon and listen to the audiobook on Audible. Also, check out the companion study guide, The Leader Assistant Workbook, to dig deeper.
LEADER ASSISTANT LIVE EVENTS
Check out our constantly updated schedule of events for admins and assistants at LeaderAssistantLive.com.
JOIN THE FREE COMMUNITY
Join the Leader Assistant Global Community for bonus content, job opportunities, and to network with other assistants who are committed to becoming leaders!
SUBSCRIBE
Subscribe to The Leader Assistant Podcast so you don’t miss new episodes!
You can find the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Pandora, and Stitcher.
Join my email list here if you want to get an email when a new episode goes live.
LEAVE A REVIEW
If you’re enjoying the podcast, please take 2 minutes to rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts here. Each review helps me stay motivated to keep the show going!
—
EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
00:00:00.180 –> 00:00:03.220
JEREMY: In-person meeting planning can be a lot to manage.
00:00:03.220 –> 00:00:05.940
JEREMY: That’s where TROOP Planner comes in.
00:00:05.940 –> 00:00:10.560
JEREMY: TROOP Planner is built to make life easier for busy assistants like you.
00:00:10.560 –> 00:00:19.640
JEREMY: Whether you’re organizing an executive offsite, department meeting, or team retreat, TROOP keeps it simple, fast, and organized.
00:00:19.640 –> 00:00:34.480
JEREMY: From choosing the perfect location to managing budgets, coordinating travel, and tracking attendee details, TROOP brings everything together in one easy-to-use platform, so you can save time and focus on what matters most.
00:00:34.480 –> 00:00:41.140
JEREMY: TROOP has an exclusive offer for leader assistant listeners through Administrative Professionals Day, so don’t miss out.
00:00:41.140 –> 00:00:45.180
JEREMY: Visit leaderassistant.com/troop to learn more.
00:00:46.200 –> 00:00:49.040
JEREMY: Hey friends, it’s Jeremy Burrows, host of The Leader Assistant Podcast.
00:00:49.040 –> 00:00:50.380
JEREMY: Thanks for tuning in.
00:00:50.380 –> 00:00:59.380
JEREMY: Today, I’m excited to highlight an episode from my friend, Annie Croner’s podcast called Whole Assistant.
00:00:59.380 –> 00:01:06.400
JEREMY: I really think you should check out her show at wholeassistant.com or look it up on your favorite podcast platform.
00:01:06.400 –> 00:01:11.140
JEREMY: Again, Annie Croner’s podcast called Whole Assistant.
00:01:11.140 –> 00:01:20.780
JEREMY: Today, I am spotlighting one of Annie’s episodes from The Whole Assistant Podcast, and I’m excited to spotlight several episodes over the coming months.
00:01:21.420 –> 00:01:27.780
JEREMY: I hope you enjoy it, and I hope you check out wholeassistant.com to learn more about Annie and her great podcast.
00:01:33.918 –> 00:01:41.518
<Speaker_3> The Leader Assistant Podcast exists to encourage and challenge assistants to become confident, game-changing leader assistants.
00:01:49.725 –> 00:01:56.865
JEREMY: Hey friends, my best-selling book, The Leader Assistant, has a companion study and discussion guide to go along with it.
00:01:56.865 –> 00:01:59.565
JEREMY: It’s called The Leader Assistant Workbook.
00:01:59.565 –> 00:02:13.145
JEREMY: Now, you can buy the Kindle ebook version of The Leader Assistant Workbook on Amazon, or you can go to leaderassistantbook.com and get a printable PDF version of the workbook.
00:02:13.145 –> 00:02:21.785
JEREMY: This version has all the space and margin in between the questions that you can write your own answers and take notes with.
00:02:21.785 –> 00:02:29.085
JEREMY: So, it’s a great way to print it out and keep track of your discussion and study guide notes.
00:02:29.085 –> 00:02:36.465
JEREMY: Again, go to leaderassistantbook.com and click on Workbook to check out The Leader Assistant Workbook.
00:02:36.505 –> 00:02:37.945
ANNIE: Hello.
00:02:37.945 –> 00:02:41.145
ANNIE: I hope your week is going really well.
00:02:41.145 –> 00:02:49.625
ANNIE: Today, we are talking about being the calm in the storm and developing sturdiness in your role.
00:02:49.625 –> 00:02:56.365
ANNIE: So, I first heard of this sturdiness term as it relates to parenting.
00:02:56.365 –> 00:02:58.905
ANNIE: I follow this amazing social influencer.
00:02:58.905 –> 00:03:04.805
ANNIE: I cannot remember the name off the top of her head, but she did this bit on Instagram and she talked about becoming a sturdy parent.
00:03:05.425 –> 00:03:08.945
ANNIE: And it got me thinking about us and our roles as executive assistants.
00:03:08.945 –> 00:03:11.045
ANNIE: Of course, we are not our executive parents.
00:03:11.045 –> 00:03:12.785
ANNIE: That’s not what I’m saying here.
00:03:12.785 –> 00:03:14.125
ANNIE: Not at all.
00:03:14.125 –> 00:03:19.405
ANNIE: But if you know anything about me, you know that I hear concepts in another realm of my life.
00:03:19.405 –> 00:03:23.505
ANNIE: And then I like to bring it into our role as executive assistants.
00:03:23.505 –> 00:03:32.225
ANNIE: I like to bring it into our realm and then modify it so that it suits you and will suit your relationship with your executive.
00:03:32.965 –> 00:03:41.865
ANNIE: And I’ve actually been thinking a lot about this lately, and how we show up and how we show up affects our executives.
00:03:42.985 –> 00:03:47.525
ANNIE: So I just want to talk about sturdiness in our role.
00:03:47.525 –> 00:03:49.725
ANNIE: So what does sturdiness look like?
00:03:49.725 –> 00:03:56.285
ANNIE: It looks like staying in your emotional lane and not ingesting someone else’s state.
00:03:56.285 –> 00:04:00.245
ANNIE: So say your executive is super gung-ho about something.
00:04:00.245 –> 00:04:01.685
ANNIE: He’s really upset about something.
00:04:01.785 –> 00:04:04.565
ANNIE: He comes in super red-hot and charged.
00:04:04.565 –> 00:04:14.325
ANNIE: And what ends up happening normally is that we ingest that energy and we ingest his state of being and we ingest that anxiety.
00:04:14.325 –> 00:04:18.285
ANNIE: And then we aren’t thinking straight, our executive isn’t thinking straight.
00:04:18.285 –> 00:04:27.945
ANNIE: We’re just kind of in this pool of confusion and frustration and anger and anxiety.
00:04:28.805 –> 00:04:36.545
ANNIE: A sturdy assistant stays out of that emotional pool that our executives are in.
00:04:37.625 –> 00:04:42.405
ANNIE: This is challenging for a lot of us because most of us are really empathetic.
00:04:42.405 –> 00:04:48.105
ANNIE: Most of us can look at our executives and know what they’re thinking at any point in time.
00:04:48.105 –> 00:04:59.145
ANNIE: I’ll never forget, you know, with my last role, I would be clicking away at my computer and I’d be feeling super anxious and I would pause and I would just stop for a minute and I’d be like, where is this coming from?
00:04:59.145 –> 00:05:01.325
ANNIE: And then I’d have like this aha moment.
00:05:01.325 –> 00:05:04.685
ANNIE: This is not even my anxiety I am owning right now.
00:05:04.685 –> 00:05:07.085
ANNIE: This is my executive’s anxiety.
00:05:07.085 –> 00:05:20.325
ANNIE: He’s upset about something, he’s frustrated by something, he’s stressed out about something, and I am experiencing his anxiety or I’m experiencing my own anxiety, but it’s kind of related to what he’s going through, right?
00:05:20.945 –> 00:05:29.005
ANNIE: So I would gently hand that back to my executive, knowing that I’m going to be better served if my mind is clear.
00:05:29.005 –> 00:05:42.405
ANNIE: If I’m able to keep my mind and my head space free from his state of being in this moment, then I can hold space for him and think clearly towards a solution for everyone.
00:05:42.405 –> 00:05:45.805
ANNIE: Okay, so that’s kind of what sturdiness looks like.
00:05:45.805 –> 00:05:48.165
ANNIE: It looks like being the calm in the storm.
00:05:48.785 –> 00:06:00.145
ANNIE: I really want you to think about being the anchor that’s anchored way down to the depths of the ocean, holding our executives at the surface level, holding them.
00:06:00.145 –> 00:06:10.065
ANNIE: And the only way that we can actually do that is if we stay in our emotional lane and not in just someone else’s emotional state.
00:06:10.065 –> 00:06:15.465
ANNIE: Okay, so it was really owning what’s ours to own and then gently handing back what isn’t ours to own.
00:06:16.705 –> 00:06:29.665
ANNIE: And that way, we are able to think clearly, we’re able to actually use our reasoning brain instead of our mammalian brain, which kicks into gear whenever there’s heightened sense of anxiety or stress or nervousness.
00:06:29.665 –> 00:06:38.645
ANNIE: Okay, this is so important because sturdiness will actually help you show up more strategically for your executive.
00:06:38.645 –> 00:06:52.005
ANNIE: If you are in the pool with your executive and you guys are splashing around and you are anxious and you’re feeding into each other’s anxiety, it’s really going to be hard to show up strategically on their behalf.
00:06:53.205 –> 00:07:03.645
ANNIE: Sturdiness will also keep you out of people-pleasing territory because there again, you’re only owning what is yours to own, which are your thoughts, your feelings, your actions.
00:07:03.645 –> 00:07:10.965
ANNIE: You can never own what is somebody else’s to own, which is their thoughts, their feelings, their actions.
00:07:10.965 –> 00:07:16.025
ANNIE: So staying out of that people-pleasing territory really owning what is yours to own for sure.
00:07:16.025 –> 00:07:37.485
ANNIE: If you made a mistake and that’s maybe part of the reason why your executive is experiencing a lot of anxiety or stress or maybe a contributing factor to how they’re showing up, I will also just say as a side note to that, that how your executive chooses to show up is up to them and how you choose to show up is up to you.
00:07:38.705 –> 00:07:42.745
ANNIE: There’s nothing that you can do to make I’m using air codes around that.
00:07:42.745 –> 00:07:45.165
ANNIE: Make your executive show up any one way.
00:07:45.165 –> 00:07:47.865
ANNIE: Only thing that we can do is create a circumstance for someone.
00:07:47.865 –> 00:07:51.325
ANNIE: How they decide to show up for that circumstance is up to them.
00:07:51.325 –> 00:07:57.185
ANNIE: I have had executives show up extremely frustrated by things I’ve done in the past by mistakes I’ve made.
00:07:57.185 –> 00:08:01.165
ANNIE: Then I’ve also had executives show up from a place of total grace and compassion.
00:08:03.145 –> 00:08:15.405
ANNIE: Also owning what is yours to own can go a long way in really taking back control of what is yours to own, but not taking on what is theirs to own.
00:08:15.405 –> 00:08:25.145
ANNIE: So sturdiness will keep you anchored in what you can control and release you from the things you can’t.
00:08:25.145 –> 00:08:33.945
ANNIE: Sturdiness will help you also hold space for a frustrated executive while simultaneously showing up in service of them.
00:08:34.845 –> 00:08:37.365
ANNIE: Now, I do want to give a disclaimer here.
00:08:37.365 –> 00:08:47.345
ANNIE: If your executive is being verbally abusive, if the executive is really playing the blame game really hard, you also don’t have to take that.
00:08:47.345 –> 00:08:52.105
ANNIE: You can also set a parameter for yourself that is just a hard pass, right?
00:08:52.105 –> 00:08:56.365
ANNIE: But you always get to decide how you show up for any situation.
00:08:56.365 –> 00:08:57.105
ANNIE: I’m going to say that again.
00:08:57.105 –> 00:09:00.145
ANNIE: You always get to decide how you show up for any situation.
00:09:01.325 –> 00:09:19.125
ANNIE: Adopting the sturdiness and letting yourself be unshakable is a great way to take back control in a way, not control of you or, no, I’m sorry, not control of them or even the situation, but take back control of what you can own.
00:09:19.125 –> 00:09:25.165
ANNIE: Take back control of those things that will empower you to make decisions for yourself and for the executive moving forward.
00:09:27.065 –> 00:09:32.885
ANNIE: Now, how do we actually become a sturdy strategic business partner?
00:09:32.885 –> 00:09:36.485
ANNIE: How do we actually become a sturdy assistant?
00:09:36.485 –> 00:09:41.865
ANNIE: My first strategy for you is to decide to serve the work and not your executive.
00:09:41.865 –> 00:09:44.765
ANNIE: I know I say this all the time.
00:09:44.765 –> 00:09:46.285
ANNIE: I really do.
00:09:46.285 –> 00:09:50.905
ANNIE: But serving the work is your best bet always.
00:09:50.905 –> 00:09:53.605
ANNIE: We show up in service of the work, not your executive.
00:09:53.845 –> 00:10:11.105
ANNIE: That way, when our executive is thinking very narrowly about a certain situation, we actually have a broader picture and we have a cleaner viewpoint, a cleaner vantage point than they do because they are very emotionally wrapped up in whatever is going on at the moment.
00:10:11.105 –> 00:10:14.765
ANNIE: I can think of several examples, but I’m not going to go into any of them here.
00:10:14.805 –> 00:10:18.745
ANNIE: I go into them with my coaching clients and things like that.
00:10:18.745 –> 00:10:21.765
ANNIE: But I think for the sake of anonymity today, I won’t go into them now.
00:10:22.865 –> 00:10:42.065
ANNIE: But if you decide to show up to serve the work and not your executive, that will not only serve your executive at a higher level because then you stay out of the people-pleasing territory, then you stay out of just wanting to fix it and make it all better for your executive, and you have a bigger picture of what’s actually going on.
00:10:42.065 –> 00:10:49.985
ANNIE: And when you decide to serve the work, your contribution will no longer be based on the whims of someone else’s short-sightedness or mood.
00:10:51.005 –> 00:10:54.425
ANNIE: Can I get an amen, right?
00:10:54.425 –> 00:11:03.905
ANNIE: You’re serving the work, your contribution will be made on the long game, okay?
00:11:03.905 –> 00:11:12.865
ANNIE: You’re going to be looking at the long game, you’re going to be looking at what’s actually serving for your executive instead of what is making them happy in the moment.
00:11:14.305 –> 00:11:22.885
ANNIE: Another kind of strategy for how we can show up sturdy in our executive assistant roles is to look at the data, not the drama.
00:11:22.885 –> 00:11:35.385
ANNIE: I’m going to go into this in more detail next week, but oftentimes when my clients bring me a situation, there is so much drama around the situation that the data gets clouded.
00:11:35.385 –> 00:11:37.285
ANNIE: What were the words that were actually said?
00:11:37.285 –> 00:11:39.765
ANNIE: What data points can you take away from that?
00:11:39.765 –> 00:11:49.145
ANNIE: And how can you leave the drama behind in order to show up more sturdy in your role for your executive and in service of the work?
00:11:49.145 –> 00:11:59.005
ANNIE: And last but not least, the last how, the last bit of information on how to be a sturdy assistant, is to always have your eye on a solution.
00:11:59.005 –> 00:12:05.245
ANNIE: We can always be solutions oriented for people, even if we aren’t going to be the boots on the ground solution for them.
00:12:05.245 –> 00:12:07.465
ANNIE: This is something else I say a lot.
00:12:07.465 –> 00:12:10.705
ANNIE: So if you’ve been listening to the podcast a lot, you will have heard this as well.
00:12:10.705 –> 00:12:12.785
ANNIE: In addition to serving the work, you will also heard this.
00:12:14.425 –> 00:12:23.585
ANNIE: Having your eye on a solution is a great strategy for showing up sturdy because we aren’t swayed by the waves.
00:12:23.585 –> 00:12:24.945
ANNIE: We are the anchor.
00:12:24.945 –> 00:12:25.865
ANNIE: We are sturdy.
00:12:25.865 –> 00:12:27.825
ANNIE: We are solid.
00:12:27.825 –> 00:12:38.585
ANNIE: And so therefore, we’re going to be able to see a solution a lot clearer than even our executive will, especially at first, especially as things are going down.
00:12:38.645 –> 00:12:39.425
ANNIE: Right?
00:12:39.425 –> 00:12:46.445
ANNIE: So really make sure that you are staying in your lane emotionally and not ingesting someone else’s emotional state.
00:12:46.445 –> 00:12:51.185
ANNIE: This is going to go a long way and becoming a sturdy assistant.
00:12:51.185 –> 00:12:59.865
ANNIE: And also, I don’t know about you guys, but I just don’t have any mental capacity to even go to the dramatic place.
00:12:59.865 –> 00:13:01.905
ANNIE: Like I just don’t have time for it.
00:13:01.905 –> 00:13:08.325
ANNIE: I don’t give that stuff any air because I genuinely just choose not to.
00:13:10.105 –> 00:13:11.805
ANNIE: And also, it’s such a time suck.
00:13:11.805 –> 00:13:14.105
ANNIE: It’s such a time waste.
00:13:14.105 –> 00:13:17.725
ANNIE: Not to say that I don’t get wrapped into my own drama from time to time.
00:13:17.725 –> 00:13:21.445
ANNIE: Or, you know, thinking about a situation in a way that isn’t serving me.
00:13:21.445 –> 00:13:22.345
ANNIE: For sure, I do.
00:13:22.345 –> 00:13:24.105
ANNIE: I’m a human as well.
00:13:24.105 –> 00:13:34.945
ANNIE: But I think when it comes to parsing out my emotional state with someone else’s emotional state, I’ve gotten really good at staying in my own lane for the most part.
00:13:34.945 –> 00:13:36.605
ANNIE: Not 100% even at that.
00:13:36.745 –> 00:13:42.425
ANNIE: But I’ve gotten really good at staying in my own lane and only owning what is mine to own.
00:13:42.425 –> 00:13:45.825
ANNIE: So that’s how we become sturdy in our roles.
00:13:45.825 –> 00:13:59.325
ANNIE: So a goal of mine for this year, my coach told me or actually she was sharing on a podcast herself that she wanted to become someone who was very hard to offend.
00:13:59.325 –> 00:14:01.525
ANNIE: And I love this so much.
00:14:01.525 –> 00:14:04.305
ANNIE: I’ve actually kind of adopted this as a goal for myself as well.
00:14:04.905 –> 00:14:08.265
ANNIE: I don’t want to be offended easily.
00:14:08.265 –> 00:14:13.005
ANNIE: So whenever somebody’s like, well, you know, Annie, you blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:14:13.005 –> 00:14:18.625
ANNIE: I think from now on in the moment, like my goal is to just kind of own what is mine to own in that moment and be like, you’re absolutely right.
00:14:18.625 –> 00:14:21.745
ANNIE: I do A, B or C, right?
00:14:21.745 –> 00:14:24.865
ANNIE: And I don’t even fight back on the thing that they may have missed.
00:14:24.865 –> 00:14:31.305
ANNIE: I just kind of let them be wrong about me and move on because that’s part of becoming a sturdy human even.
00:14:31.305 –> 00:14:33.725
ANNIE: It’s just to like not be offended.
00:14:35.385 –> 00:14:37.585
ANNIE: This one is a work in progress for me.
00:14:37.585 –> 00:14:40.445
ANNIE: I am totally type A, I can run red sometimes.
00:14:40.445 –> 00:14:48.665
ANNIE: And so I really am working on what it looks like for me to just not be offended and have that sturdiness.
00:14:48.665 –> 00:14:56.485
ANNIE: I’m not saying that I don’t want to have conviction about something because I love that I’m a passionate person and I love that I have convictions about things.
00:14:56.485 –> 00:15:07.525
ANNIE: But in terms of being offended, I think that there is a difference between being offended or choosing to be offended and having a strong conviction about something.
00:15:07.525 –> 00:15:10.845
ANNIE: So I’m kind of playing around with those ideas in my own life right now.
00:15:10.845 –> 00:15:14.545
ANNIE: If you want to play around with those ideas as well, I would encourage you to give it a shot.
00:15:14.545 –> 00:15:15.365
ANNIE: Let me know how it goes.
00:15:15.365 –> 00:15:19.185
ANNIE: You can email me at Annie at Whole assistant.com and let me know.
00:15:19.185 –> 00:15:22.845
ANNIE: Okay, guys, that is what I have for you guys today.
00:15:22.845 –> 00:15:25.845
ANNIE: I hope that you can be the calm in the storm for your executive.
00:15:26.445 –> 00:15:30.565
ANNIE: I hope that you can be the calm in the storm for your colleagues and coworkers.
00:15:30.565 –> 00:15:36.805
ANNIE: This is a concept that I’ve not always been good at, but the more I practice it, the easier it becomes.
00:15:36.805 –> 00:15:44.125
ANNIE: And the more I look at the data and not the drama, the easier it becomes to be that anchor and that sturdy, sturdy person.
00:15:44.125 –> 00:15:48.025
ANNIE: Feel free to email me at Annie at Whole assistant.com if you’ve got questions.
00:15:48.025 –> 00:15:50.065
ANNIE: Be intentional, be whole.
00:15:50.065 –> 00:15:51.805
ANNIE: That is all for now.
00:16:02.055 –> 00:16:04.415
ANNIE: Please review on Apple Podcasts.
00:16:10.847 –> 00:16:16.807
ANNIE: gobullos.com.
00:16:16.807 –> 00:16:23.787
JEREMY: Hey friends, my best-selling book, The Leader Assistant, has a companion study and discussion guide to go along with it.
00:16:23.787 –> 00:16:26.507
JEREMY: It’s called The Leader Assistant Workbook.
00:16:26.507 –> 00:16:39.527
JEREMY: Now, you can buy the Kindle ebook version of The Leader Assistant Workbook on Amazon, or you can go to leaderassistantbook.com and get a printable PDF version of the workbook.
00:16:40.107 –> 00:16:56.167
JEREMY: This version has all the space and margin in between the questions that you can write your own answers and take notes with, so it’s a great way to print it out and keep track of your discussion and study guide notes.
00:16:56.167 –> 00:17:02.327
JEREMY: Again, go to leaderassistantbook.com and click on Workbook to check out The Leader Assistant Workbook.
